I love this song. It doesn't all apply to me right now- but it's still a wonderful song. I heard it the other day for the first time in a long time, and it reminds me that no matter how I feel, I can always run to God for comfort. It actually is the perfect song for one of my girls here right now- I am praying she will remember it :-)


Caroline
Seventh Day Slumber

Where do I began?
There's so much I want to say to make it easier
Tomorrow's on its way
Do you beileve I want to take your painful memories?

I know you want to run away
I know that you can't see tomorrow

Caroline
Let me wipe away your tears, and give you life
Make you feel beautiful again
Caroline
Don't throw it all away
I'm here tonight, to take away your pain

Yesterday is gone and
Everything that made you cry has fallen to the ground
I'm here to bring you home
I will always take you back
You haven't let me down

I know you want to run away
I know that you can't see tomorrow

Caroline
Let me wipe away your tears, and give you life
Make you feel beautiful again
Caroline
Don't throw it all away
I'm here tonight, to take away your pain

And when you're feeling all alone and you can't go on
Remember I am here
And when you think you've gone too far
I'll meet you where you are
My arms are open wide

Caroline
Let me wipe away your tears, and give you life
Make you feel beautiful again
Caroline
Don't throw it all away
I'm here tonight, to take away your pain

Caroline
Let me wipe away your tears, and give you life
Make you feel beautiful again
Caroline
Don't throw it all away
I'm here tonight, to take away your pain

Caroline

Angie's here!

On Friday, Amy and I drove to Detroit Metro to pick up Angie! She got in at 6pm, and we got back to school around 8:30, despite the fact that we'd never driven it before :P We did get almost lost once; our directions said to turn onto a street that didn't actually happen to be where the directions took us, but we called Dane (Natalie's boyfriend, who lives in MI) and he told us we could easily get back. He was right! We dropped Amy off so she could go to coffeehouse, then went to walmart for food for the week. Once we had dropped that off, we went to coffeehouse ourselves. I love coffeehouse :-) Some of my favorite people on campus play and sing, like the three who call themselves Nickel Creek (Dunn Right). They, of course, play Nickel Creek and other folksy-bluegrass music, and very well.

The rest of the week, we've mostly been in the new student union. It's a good place to study-- I've finally discovered that the snack bar really is good for that, because of the booths- and to talk. Angie and I have read our Bibles and talked and watched YouTube vidoes up there. Yesterday she bought a sketch book and spent an artistic hour and a half with that while we watched the snow outside, but soon I had to go out in it for choir :P

The rest of the week, we'll probably do the same thing- maybe go see the arboretum, too, if it's not too cold this afternoon. It should be beautiful this time of year, all that snow.... :-)
We've been having a lot of fun, and it's so nice to get a piece of home in the middle of February! :-)

Furnace

My friend Carly is an amazing person. :-) She goes to a huge church in Colorado Springs, and while she took a year off after high school before coming here, she helped run a discipleship group called the Furnace. She started a branch off of that here last semester, and this semester I've joined- all of my best friends are in it :-) There are, I think, ten of us now, overseen by the college pastor from my Michigan church who lives and works right near campus.
We just started the Furnace this week, and I'm so excited about it! On Tuesdays Mary Beth, Natalie, Amy, a girl on my hall named Brita and I will have Bible study. On Wednesday nights we have Bible study, with a larger group, at Pastor Steve's house; and his wife Tanya cooks dinner for all of us! On Thursday nights we go to our Hillsdale Christian Fellowship bi-monthly "youth group" meeting. On Friday mornings we meet for prayer before class. And on Sunday afternoons after church we have accountability groups.
So, we do something almost every day of the week. It's been wonderful already, and will continue to be, as a constant reminder of what is most important in our lives- in my life. If I know that every week some of my best friends will be asking me if I've been purposeful about setting aside time with God, then I will be better about actually doing it. And I love having prayer before class, even though I have to be up the hill at 8:15 :-) I'm so excited about how God is working this semester, in my life and in my friends'. Amy needs prayer for learning how to have a relationship with God- she's been brought up in the church and knows about God, even truly believes God is most important in her life, but she hasn't read the Bible except for class assignments before, so I'm really excited about how she'll come to truly know God through His word if she will be willing to read it. I can't wait to see her grow as she realizes Who it is that makes her life worth living. :)
It's time to go read about cellular respiration and other fun things in my biology textbook, but I wanted to share about the Furnace and what God is doing here. I love you all dearly and am praying for you- more so now that I have a constant reminder to be in prayer :-) May God bless and keep you all this week.

A Weekend of Very French History

First, don't you just love the room we camp out in on weekends that involve mostly studying? It's just part of the lobby in Mauck, where Natalie and Amy live, but it's beautiful .

Then you have to just get a kick out of Wright's history book...

"Their suggestion is that the kings, despite their deplorable lack of backbone, were more to be pitied than censured. The real trouble makers, according to this theory, were the selfish beaurocrats of the parlements, whose narrow recalcitrance undermined the monarchy while it opened the way to abstract theorists and political fanatics."

"A few months later the last feeble barrier to their triumph was cleared away when Louis XVIII at last expired."

A very French version of history, no? This is for my History of France After 1815 class, which I love; this book gives me endless amusement while I study.

Desperation Band

I've treasured this song this week :-) My friend Carly made a mix cd of her favorite Desperation Band songs (they happen to be her church's worship leaders! =D) If you've never heard them, try going to itunes or something and listen to this, Anything, Amazed, Rescue, or Everlasting God. They are amazing. Carly made this for me over break, and it was so sweet of her- we just became friends last semester and only God knew how perfect her timing was with this happy cd!

I'll Be Okay

I will throw myself down at your feet
I will live out my life on my knees
You alone i run too
No one helps me like you

I'll be ok when I'm safe in your arms
And the thoughts of this world fade away
I'll be ok with you

I'll be ok when it's you by my side
And the tears of this life wipe away
I'll be ok with you
I'll be ok

I will lay down my pride for your grace
I will give anything for one look
One look at your face
You alone i run to
No one helps me like you

I'll be
I'll be
I'll be ok with you
I'll be
I'll be
I'll be ok

First Day of Class

My girls (minus Natalie)... good friends :-)

Classes started today. Wohoo! Actually, we were all feeling a little apprehensive this semster; usually I'm excited for them to start, but they're so different from my usual ones, and I didn't feel like jumping into homework :P But I think I will especially enjoy History of France After 1815 with my favorite history professor, and although Biology will be slow, full of evolution theory, and generally a good time to perfect my doodling skills, it won't be very hard. :) I have history at 9, an hour break, and bio at 11; today as I was walking out of history, I ran into my friend Vanessa. We just got to be friends last semester, but it's been so good already; she broke up with her "boy" about two months ago and has been sharing wonderful verses and hopes and struggles with me the whole time, sharing what she's learned. Today we talked, read verses we've really held on to lately, and prayed together in the break from 10-11. It was wonderful. :-) It's a precious thing to know that as unlike myself, as weak and dependent as I feel, God loves it because it means there is more room for Him. I want to allow Him to fill and change me, rather than going back to who I was and have been. I just love Him and know that He loves me so much more.
I worked today too, from 12:30-2:30. I like my job- I send off letters to kids interested in the 'Dale and drink coffee :-) All in all, a good schedule, and a day full of God's strength and joy. Much love to you all :-)

An Ending, and New Beginnings

Dearest women of my life,

It's the day before classes start and I'm ready to sleep, so this will be shorter than it could be, but I couldn't sleep just yet anyway so I'm going to tell you about the last day and a half.
Paul and I ended our relationship last night. It was one of the hardest things I've done, but we talked about it carefully and decided it was the right and best thing to do. Not because of us, there has never been a problem between us; but it wasn't the time for a relationship headed for marriage, and that is where we were headed. I admit I was good with that- I would have married him, and waited two years or however long we had to wait. But Paul is graduating in four months, going onto a job that he's just applying for now and doesn't know where he'll be, then going on to seminary when he can, and pastoring after that wherever he's sent. He's very much an all or nothing person and couldn't make all these decisions without realizing that he either had to planning a not-so-distant marriage and making choices accordingly, or not be in a relationship at all; and he told me he just isn't ready, emotionally and spiritually and mentally, for marriage and can't know when he will be, so he couldn't just ask me to wait and see. We decided that we couldn't make a commitment based on uncertainty and hopes that would be playing with both our hearts. Who knows; maybe we would both have been ready for marriage in two years; but he doesn't think he will be, and it would be an even more painful break later if we decided marriage wasn't in our future after all.
I wanted to say, "but there has to be a way... I'll wait for you..." but that would be unwise of us. Courtship has to lead to marriage or end, and we didn't know if we could head to marriage. Not now. I didn't want to end it... I didn't see it coming... but God prepared me over break, even though I didn't know it. Paul sent me an email saying we needed to talk and getting his thoughts down coherently for me to think about and discuss with him, and as soon as I read it, I felt God's overwhelming love and strength and deep devotion to me. I think I know better today than I did yesterday before all this what it means to trust and cling to my Savior, and what it means to have Him be most important to me, and for Him to love me. I understood the tangible, comforting sense of fierce love He feels for me better than I ever have. So even though it's been hard, it hasn't been unbearable or life-shattering. My girls have been SO good to me, and read me just the perfect verses and chapters. MB also went through a similar ending of a relationship this summer, and she is giving me hope. [Now she's in such a beautiful, right, forever relationship with her best friend!] So this letting go is sad and the sadness washes over me in waves at times, but comfort straight from my God soon reminds me that this was all for my good and part of His perfect plan. I wouldn't be the Michal I am now if it weren't for this relationship, which is to say I am so imperfect but I need to be changed before I'm ready for my future husband. This is part of becoming me, and I can see how much I've learned and been encouraged through Paul. He's been wonderful, so honorable and careful of my heart, and he wanted this to work as much as I did. He just knew he had to give me ALL of him if he was going to keep giving me any, and right now that all is focused on ministry and change and moving. I know he (we) did it out of care for each others' hearts and respect for each other.
This was going to be short.. oops ;) But I wanted you to know, and know that I'm sad but doing well. I'm so loved, and I know that this is such a small trial compared to the big and difficult things my dear people around me have gone through and are going through. I love you, aunties and cousin and Mamasita :-)

~Michal